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Remember how I stated that I’m usually reasonably OK with my circumstances? Well the keyword in that sentence is usually. It was definitely a good thing that I tend to write posts a day at a time and save them as drafts until the next morning. Most of yesterday was spent in some form of mental anguish and tears were definitely present. I am aware that my life is nowhere near as difficult as some of the things I know other people are going through at the moment I have a roof over my head and food to eat and my immediate family (and some family which is not so immediate) are together. The problem I’m facing is probably best described as a “lack of socialization”. I cannot drive and public transportation where I live is pretty much nonexistent, I suppose you could call a cab but the fair to my house would be exorbitant. I am dependent on my mother for transportation, which is in turn dependent on her schedule. The end result is that through no fault of any particular person I’m beginning to equate my house and is similar to a shoe box. I wish moving out were as simple for me as paying two months rent as a deposit and packing up my stuff. Unfortunately partially due to the fact that I have no outside income to supplement my government check and partially due to the fact that my insurance will only allow an aide to help me for six hours a day moving out is still next to impossible. I had a disappointment a few days ago, for several months I have been in contact with a breeder of the English shepherds in hopes of getting a puppy from her to train as an assistance dog for myself so that I might be able to manage with only six hours of human help Unfortunately both the breeder and I discovered a few days ago that her female had undergone a false pregnancy. What this means for me is that my plans for moving out have been delayed almost a full year. She intends to breed the female again at the beginning of the summer and also her daughter this fall. Assuming I am able to get a puppy from a summer litter it will take at least six months to train him or her to a level where I feel comfortable in relying solely on the animal’s ability to help without the mediating presence of a human. I have been researching in these animals for most of my life and encountered numerous stumbling blocks over the past 12 year Add to that that the prescription for my antidepressants has expired, I’m not sure when I will be able to get to the doctor to renew it, and I took my last pill a few days ago and you can imagine that things have been interesting.
