August 2, 2013 by bluerosegirl08
Some call grief a process but that word implies that grieving is finite and has a definitive end. In my experience grief (specifically from the death of a close friend or family member) tends to behave more like a shadow. Some days it is bigger and more noticeable than others but once felt it is always there. It is that song on the radio that you either can’t stand to hear or almost break the speakers listening to as loud as possible. It is the book that goes unread on the shelf but woe unto the person who suggests giving it away. It is the quirky things you insist on doing or knowing that surprise other people. For instance I lost a good friend to leukemia, he wore a hat constantly to hide the damage chemotherapy had done to his hair. Now whenever my hair is long enough I don’t get a professional hair cut and donate my hair to a charity that makes wigs for cancer patients. Recently a friend of mine who had a long list of food allergies died (from something totally unrelated). Since I met him I noticed that I became more likely to remember if people around me had an allergy of any sort. Also if I know someone is going camping etc.: I always make sure they are aware of the warning signs which herald Lyme disease. If I can’t make the shadows that follow me go away I can at least make them smaller.