I used to think that if I wished hard enough that was enough….it isn’y at twenty six I decided to change the game. Most of the people I know probably thought I’d live with my folks for most of my life..I moved out of state a week before my last birthday. I’m scared but I’m here. When I was fifteen I said I was going to write a book and ten years later the book still isn’t in print , I refuse to let another year pass without progress. I didn’t get a college the first time around because I didn’t care about what a degree meant, because most of the people who seemed to be pushing a degree on me never never quite got it. I don’t care if I personally have to eat Ramen noodles every day for the rest of my life fine If the world is made better by the dash in between the dates on my marker or memorial then that is enough, money was never the point.
I think I was born a crusader. Even if I wasn’t born one, my parents raised one. I’ve had this one dream over and over the past several years.. I’m running barefoot, chasing something. I was running barefoot, tripping and falling and bleeding and bruised because even in this dream the disability is still there. I run and fall and bleed and get back up. I’ve woke up with sore muscles sore, eyes stinging. I sed to think the work behind a college degree was a waste for me because I hadn’t found what I wanted. So what if it means extra classes and computer programming classes? So what? I beat my demons once before, I will do again. I’ll lose sleep to learn the math and the programming and the two or three or five or six languages it takes to put me ahead of the able bodied person who it would be easier for them to hire.
All these things I’ve listed will probably push me to tears and past that but I will succeed because Ir refuse to accept the assistance of a reality in which I could fail;