Day 229: To the Stranger Who Asks “How does that work, ” for the 200th time

 

English: Illustration of the double moon symbol used by bisexuals who wish to avoid the use of triangles. This example is in the colours of the Bisexual Pride flag. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am bisexual. I am lucky enough to have both a girlfriend and a boyfriend, who I adore.. This particular post is a rant concerning the attitudes of strangers to my girlfriend and I as a couple. Guys, if you ask me if I’m bisexual the answer is yes. If you ask me if I’m dating a girl the answer is yes. I am dating and intend to remain committed to one of the most beautiful, intelligent women I know. Yes, my boyfriend knows he’s dating us both. All of these questions I will answer politely and with grace.

What I will do is go into detail about my sex life with either of them. My orientation and choice of partners is not meant for anyone’s gratification beyond myself and my partners. No you CAN NOT watch us make out, and NO WE WILL NOT sleep with you. Why not?Here are just a few reasons

1. Bisexual is not the same as sex worker. Just because we like both doesn’t mean we’ll sleep with everybody.

2. I just met you, it is quite possible you’ve got something AJAX couldn’t scrub off. No thanks, I’ll pass.

3. Remember the boyfriend I mentioned? He doesn’t share with other men. He also doesn’t take kindly to either of us being harassed.

   We (women, bisexuals, people with disabilities poly folk, etc.) do not live our lives for the entertainment and curiosity of others. We deserve the privacy and respect anybody does. Next time you want to ask someone about their relationship ask yourself this: would you feel comfortable if a stranger asked you that question? If the answer is no the question is probably best left unasked, it’s that simple.

where do we go from here? A Christmas Day monologue

Image via Wikipedia

I talked to my ex-boyfriend today, the one I started dating almost a year ago.  Yes, the conversation was awkward at points, but at least we can still talk to each other, which is more than I can say for my high school boyfriend and I.  The thing that is the most painful is that we both know we are so not “over” each other.  We broke up because life started to overwhelm him and he decided it wasn’t fair to me to be with him when he felt that his life was going to be so uncertain in the foreseeable future.  He says thought I should find someone else, someone better able to take care of me and love me.  That would be easier if I honestly believed that he wasn’t in love with me still.  I don’t believe that, not for one minute  I am left  with a hole in my heart, a best friend who would give the world to change it if he could, and an ex-boyfriend who I can’t bring myself to blame for any part of my misery, and so because I can’t, he blames himself.  Where do we go from here?  I have no idea at this point but I know I will not completely abandon him, no one deserves to face their inner dark place alone