Day 206: Promises to my unborn children, step children, and their parents

An icon illustrating a parent and child (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don’t have children yet but since I now plan on it some day I have started to pay attention to parent bloggers and how they write about their kids. The cyberspace revolution didn’t even start until I was mime or ten so I did not grow up with my baby pictures uploaded to Facebook as a matter of course or the milestones of my childhood recorded in a blog. My girlfriend wrote to her firstborn in a blog during her pregnancy and I liked the idea so much I plan on writing an individual for any children I am blessed with. I also know that the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry but I will try anyway. I will do my best not to post stories about them on my personal blog which might them cringe in embarrassment when they old enough to realize that Mommy or Stepmom as the case maybe has a blog and they are mentioned it.

I promise to always ask permission of a child’s parent(s) (both whenever possible( before I write about them or post a picture I may have them on the net. Yes,the world is a lot safer than it used to be and I am not one to jump at shadows but as parenting blogs continue to evolve we as the adults should remember that we are responsible for their safety as well as the outside world’s perception of them and that is a fragile trust indeed. To my partners and the parents of their children: thank for allowing me to share in the blessing that is you child(ren’s) lives and know that I will love and protect them like my own.

Day 170: Choosing to be a child free woman should not be seen as something terrible

Society woman by Nicola Filippo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I want children, very much. I love my almost stepchildren dearly and will be very happy when the time comes that they have siblings. However there is a  segment of women who consciously choose never to have children of their own.  Society seems to either dismiss their choice as something they will grow out of, or else becomes downright hostile towards the woman in question.I believe this attitude towards a person who chooses not to become a parent is wrong. Parenting is not easy and the society that punishes those who admit to feeling unprepared and ill-suited for the role in a backward society in my opinion.  My sister and I were lucky in the fact that our parents have never pushed to become parents ourselves just for the sake of grandchildren. In a world which currently holds upwards of 6 billion people I think human society as a whole would be much better off if they would cease to diminish a child free adult for there choice.Read the post that inspired this one here.

Day 143: Mother’s Day and Love

Doorway into St. Nicholas Tower Chapel gardens. A view looking through a doorway into the gardens at St. Nicholas Tower Chapel, showing a plaque commemorating Mildred Gale, paternal grandmother of George Washington. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today is Mother’s Day. The one thing that the human race has in common with each other in spite of all the rest of our cultural differences… We all have parents. Whether we like them, have issues with them, or don’t know at all we all came from somewhere. Today I can’t help but think about my paternal grandmother, a lady I never had the good fortune to know. I chose her first name as my middle name when I was 13 years old and that remains the sole connection I have to her other than the obvious one of my father. I sometimes feel like I am missing something important in my life because I didn’t know her. Then the thought occurs to me that my children will grow up, at least in that respect, like I did. The unicorn necklace I wear belonged to Oz’s mother before she died. There is not a day that has passed since I met him that I don’t wonder if she would like me and hope that she would. I think that one of the best things about love in any form is that it can make you strive to be your best possible self.

Day 73: thoughts on child free spaces from an admittedly childless young adult and a postscript

Image via Wikipedia

Recently I have discovered that there is something of a debate about whether businesses have the right to set a minimum age for children within their establishment. I believe I should first say that I’m 26 and have no children of my own nor do I plan on having them in the extremely near future at least.In spite of that I do like children very much I am the last person you will find making purposefully discriminatory statements. However I believe that adults  with and without children are entitled to “child free” areas. I have heard from several parents of young children in my acquaintance that there are times when a completely adult conversation is paramount to their continued sanity. Completely adult in this instance encompasses a time frame in which the eyes that seem to attach themselves to the back of your head at the onset of parenthood can sleep, and your superhero cape can be left at home underneath your socks in the bottom drawer of your dresser. I applaud parents for their sometimes superhuman efforts in raising their children but to all the parent bloggers out there who are muttering about “child discrimination” don’t you think you deserve a small increment of time in which to remember that you were a person long before your children came around? I think sometimes parents have the tendency to forget that they were functioning beings before their infant/toddler/preschooler was here. My suggestion: get a babysitter for the night and at least once a month enjoy a conversation which is comprised wholly of words and not punctuated with high-pitched emotional sound half the time. If your favorite restaurant happens to have a minimum age and you foresee giving up your absolute favorite dish forever take heart, it’s not forever. Personally I might consider letting my child believe that the nice restaurant dinner on their sixth or seventh birthday was my present to them when actually it would be a present to myself.
Now a note to anyone who has a mind to or is currently following this blog about the next few weeks: I have just updated my speech recognition software and until we get used to each other there might be some really bizarre phrases that accidentally get put in print. I beg your indulgence for about the next month.

Related articles

• The Baby Ban: What are we saying to parents? (scanofnova.wordpress.com)
• Child Bans: Acceptable Bigotry? (alainamabaso.wordpress.com)
• On Banning Children: Two Sides of the Coin (caridwen.wordpress.com)