love… the great equalizer… or so I thought…

I recently had a discussion with a friend and Matthew Shepard got mentioned  For those of you who don’t know Matthew Shepard was a university student who was beaten to death because he was homosexual.  I think I was 11 at the time this happened but even so I remember being appalled.  Somehow being punched and kicked to a bloody pulp is at least as horrifying if not more so than dying from a gunshot wound.  Matthew was just as much someone’s son as those boys who were scared enough to kill him. “All man of created equal”, remember that?  A simple statement that all Americans at least have known since grade school, but like so much of the history books, apparently untrue.

“All you need is love,” so said John Lennon.  Several years ago when I was dating my senior high school boyfriend of course I met his parents, two of the nicest people you will ever meet  Even though we have long since broken up and rarely speak when we do I still ask how his mom is, both of them.  They’ve been together since he was seven and even know that a lot of distance from 17 to 24 (almost) when the subject comes up I always tell people that he is a wonderful person and a good man.  The fact that he was, in large part, raised by two women makes no difference. They are roughly my folks age so they should be around for a decent bit I have to wonder what will to them as they get older.  Marriage is more than just ceremony confirming commitment.  Once confirmed as a spouse someone’s partner automatically becomes their legal next of kin able to make medical decisions if the other is incapacitated etc.I cannot stand the thought that they might be denied the right to hold their loved ones hand for the last time.  I hope my uncle doesn’t have to face that and when fate decrees it is his time to leave I for one will fight to make sure the person closest to him is allowed to visit.

At almost 24 I freely admit a lot of things I don’t know but after having been in and out of hospitals my entire life there are a couple things I can tell you: hospitals are depressing, all too often humanity stripping, demoralizing places.If the person I love were kept from seeing me because they were female and therefore could not legally be considered my spouse, that would depress me worse.  Yes  that  could actually happen me because I’m bi. As I have said before we all have opinions and I respect yours but before yoi blithely tell me that it’s a choice that I can reverse if I TRULY wanted to, let me ask you, would YOU choose to live a life that could end  with you dead,beaten bad enough that dental records were the only way to identify you?! Didn’t think so!

Churches should still be able to refuse to marry a couple…freedom of religon and all that. But I’d like to point out courthouse have been civil instituations for a long time in most cases.


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