friendship: it’s all in the details

It amazes me the details the human mind usually glosses over, the feel of fabric against your skin for example. I’ve also had the experience of being hyper sensitive to detail, noticing very small things in more detail than usual.  A friend pointed out recently that when holding my hand it seemed as though my fingers kept wanting to fold over into a fist.  He is correct, but until you said something about it it had been years  since that had occurred to me as a conscious thought .  Because of my disability the natural resting position of my hands is not flat open but with the fingers at least slightly curled,it takes a minimal level of conscious effort to keep them straight similar to somebody walking around with their hand on their head, something which requires thought merely because it is different from the arm’s normal inclination which is to rest at your side.  Truthfully I was surprised that he had noticed that at all but in hindsight it really shouldn’t have I suppose.It is very rare if I’m holding someone’s hand that I notice the texture of it but apparently that day was an exception. One of the other things I noticed from that day is how small my hands actually are.  I wear a size 5 ring on my left hand (my right hand is undetermined, a size 6 is way too big and a size 4 bites into my fingers) so most people’s hands are considerably bigger than mine, especially most guys, but I remember having the distinct impression of how small they must appear to another person.  It was strange to say the least. When I was younger I used to talk constantly, trying very hard to be the kind person other people would like because, (I realize now) that even at that young age I hated the idea of being completely alone.  It wasn’t until my late teens, which were not that long ago, that I begin to appreciate the value of silence to a friendship or to any relationship at all.  Silence  is usually something to be avoided and the person whose company you can enjoy without feeling the need to constantly converse is special indeed.Silence is golden makes so much more sense now.  Though every once in a while it pays to forget a detail or two, like the possible need for a pair of gloves in early spring.


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