Posted in Uncategorized

a worry, a dream, a story

800px-EnvelopI should never have opened those shoe boxes. Three of them filled with stacks of letters, five or six to each stack each group held together by a rubber band.They say curiosity will kill you, sometimes though it just makes you wish you were dead. Sometimes it punctures the heart as surely as the sharpest blade ever could but leaves you still able to perform the basic tasks necessary to survive. I became convinced in the days, weeks, months and years, ( or was that only minutes?) since I read the Post-it note written in smeared ink on the top of the lid of the first box. “To be distributed later”, that Pandora’s box had originally been a shoe box.These had come from Nate and I had a sinking feeling I knew when later was. Fortunately the envelope it was attached to had my name written across the front so I was not in danger of committing a federal offense by reading at least the first one.

“Rachel,
Knowing you, you will probably find this much earlier than I intended and certainly much earlier than most people who will see a letter similar to this as your mom is the one who is supposed to make sure that the rest of these get to everyone else. I promise you will get a hug the next time you’re here. The Shakespeare book is yours but I bet you knew that since you’ve had it on semi permanent loan for years now.

I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again. You are very special to me, always have been, always will be. Hang in there and remember, just because people think you’re stupid , doesn’t make you stupid, it’s make them stupid.
Your friend always,
Nate”
The envelope underneath mine had “Morgan” written across it, and I was sure the one underneath it was one with my mom’s name on it. As I folded the letter back up and put it away and slid the tops of the shoe boxes back in place, my vision blurred. I sat cross-legged in the middle of my deserted living room, with a shoe box in my lap and cried. If this had been a movie,the main camera would’ve slowly panned backwards away from me and the screen would fade to black.

I should never have opened those damn things.

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