Lose the Training Wheels camp
Image by BikePortland.org via Flickr

I have come to realize  that I dislike the word maybe immensely.That word implies the possibility of failure and disappointment.  I have lost count of how many times people have put that qualifier  on to things that I  am  excited about.  When they discover my aspirations instead of saying “well of course you can, even if you have to work a little harder than everyone else it will be worth it in the end” they say,”well maybe someday you’ll be able to.”  I am by no means saying that most of the people I know act like this, they don’t. When strangers tell me things like this it is relatively easy to ignore because  I can remind myself that they do not know me and have very little, if any, idea of what I am capable of.  It is far more hurtful to hear such things out of the mouths of family members even when you know that their only intent was to be supportive and encouraging.  I love my grandma but she has made statements like that to me my whole life and she doesn’t realize that they hurt more than encourage.  She came to the house briefly yesterday and I was outside  with my bike and she wanted to see how it worked.  Right now until I get the hang of making the bike go my mom walks behind keeping the bike going even if it takes me a while to complete the motion with my arms. Mom is basically  doing what parents do when the child graduates from training wheels with a regular bike,except I am not quite ready for her to let it go yet. The reason I am annoyed with my grandma is that appears that she almost expects me never to outgrow the need for help.  I have enough self doubt I don’t need anyone else fueling that.

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