day seven: it’s hard to be content with the green eyed monster lurking

26/06/2009 (Day 3.177) - Green-Eyed Monster
Image by Kaptain Kobold via Flickr

Yesterday mom and I made an abortive attempt to help a cousin who doesn’t drive pick up her grandchild whom she had promised to babysit over the weekend.  Traffic had other ideas to say the least. On the way there Mom and I discussed the intention of the baby’s Daddy to marry his current (and also very pregnant) girlfriend after completing rehab.  The young lady in question is apparently head and shoulders above any of the other girls my player of a cousin has previously dated(and yes, the mother of his firstborn is definitely on the list than stellar list)  and even though I have yet to meet this girl I’m fairly certain  that most of the nice things  which have been said about her are true.  My cousin has not made the best decisions in his life, as his need to complete a drug rehabilitation program can probably attest.  I was therefore shocked to realize that I am jealous of him.  All of this anger that I didn’t even realize I was carrying came boiling to the surface. I couldn’t understand why someone who has thrown most on his life away up until recently gets “rewarded” by the universe  at large.  Quite frankly I still don’t understand it.  I know the reason some people  would quote at me but I find those hard to swallow.  I suppose I will have to squash this bitterness as much as I’m able.  That means I will be as supportive as I can be and try to kill any excessively bitter comments that threaten to come out of my mouth for no reason.  Sometimes that’s all you can do when the green eyed monster decides to show its ugly face.


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