day thirty six: I am not too much of a fan…

DGJ_0467 -  Cupid and Psyche
Image by archer10 (Dennis) via Flickr

Its the day before Valentine’s Day.I’m not much of a fan to be honest.  I’m no one of those who believes it was a holiday created only for commercial reasons, don’t worry.  My reasons are much more personal and specific to me.  I am somewhat socially awkward truth be told.  I can hold a conversation on many things, the customs of  medieval Europe and Britain  for example. I can tell you who Valentine’s Day was named for and how he died and why.  I can tell the original story of Cupid, for starters he’s a grown man not the childlike cherub so many people depict nowadays, though he did have an impressive set of wings.I can see through most of the plots and books and movies to the much older story that was the basis for whatever book or movie it is.  The problem is that the people who appreciate that kind of knowledge are few and far between and people who are within 10 years of my age who carry that trait seem to be even more rare. The consequences of this is that I’ve been alone for a good portion of my life.  I am more or less alone again this year.  I struggle to convince myself that it can’t last forever but when February 14 finally creeps up on me and I’m still alone, it gets harder every year to believe that next year will be any different.  In case anyone’s interested while most people will be doing something with their significant others tomorrow evening I will be watching a dog show with Mom most likely.


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