Day 75: Why I blog… Revisited

The English alphabet, both upper and lower cas...
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I have been fascinated with journals, diaries, and paper letters since I was in elementary school, also cursive handwriting. I’m not exactly sure why, maybe it was because at 26 I have failed to completely master the simple task of printing. My hand jerks at unexpected moments leaving letters like K and P and R without a strong leg to stand on at times. I refuse to even attempt a lowercase F because the result is so convoluted it’s very nearly painful to see. I don’t think I was much good at staying in between the lines when coloring in kindergarten and first grade, my teachers forgave me but I never could. It is true that your most unforgiving critic is often yourself. Someone gave me a blank journal in the third or fourth grade, the pages were not dated and it had flowers as a border in the top and bottom right-hand corner of every page, it even closed via a small Velcro patch instead of the standard strap or lock. So I picked up my pencil and wrote  something, don’t ask me what it was now I don’t remember. I think I believed that this beautiful book would magically transform the squiggles which were representative of my penmanship back then  into beautiful script that even Emily Post would envy, just a little bit. (I will admit to having only the vaguest notion of who Emily Post was back then, all I knew was that she had been someone who had encouraged graceful handwriting and handwritten thank you notes after most social gatherings.) Needless to say, I was horribly disappointed. I only wrote in that journal a total of maybe three times. I was so ashamed of my squiggles that I tore the pages on which I had inflicted my horrible scrawl out rather than look at them. In spite of the fact that I only set pen or pencil to it rarely, it was six months before I grudgingly consented to transfer ownership to my younger sister.

I blog in part because I love beautiful stationery and even though the original editor is plain white when everything is said and done my words seem to have more emphasis, character, and meaning to them they would if they were only printed with the white screen of standard word processing programs. The second part of why I blog I have probably mentioned several times at various points, the reason why I choose to keep a public blog. I am rather introverted, I am not sure all whether this is entirely due to my disability or whether I would still be this way if I could walk but I’m pretty sure the disability exacerbates the introversion to some degree. I am not completely a shut in but when I do go out it takes a fair amount of planning and advanced warning so that whoever’s driving remembers to leave space enough for my manual chair in the trunk. I only get to take my motorized chair if they happen to drive a pickup or a van which is less likely, especially now with fuel prices being what they are. In a lot of ways my blog, or I should say blogs because I have two now is my way of reminding the world not to forget me just yet.


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