People who say relationships are easy probably haven’t been in a serious one yet. Every day there is conscious choice to continue. I am currently several states away from both of the people I care about and to say the separation is awful is a massive understatement. Love is beautiful and complicated. One of the things it took me a long time to learn is that sometimes the Princess has to work through some of her problems alone before her sweetheart (s) show up. I think that in order for relationships to work all parties must be comfortable with themselves before anyone else can be.
I admit that it has taken me quite a long time to get there. I do not mean that you have to like yourself all the time. Mostly you should know how to be honest with yourself even when it means acknowledging qualities in yourself that you would rather ignore. Somewhere I read a quote that says something to the effect of “love doesn’t show you a perfect person it allows you to see an imperfect person perfectly”. My girl has an Irish temper which drives me nuts sometimes. My man has patience 2 miles wide even people I would have given up on. He is also a self admitted ideogame junkie so sometimes creativity is necessary to get his attention. In
All of that aside they are the best thing that has ever happened to my life. This distance thing sucks but it is only a temporary condition. They used to think that the heart-wrenching I had gone through was pointless and only served to make me miserable but I realize now that everything that happened before this happened so this could work. I know myself better now and I communicate much easier than I used to though I am by no means perfect at it. I have learned the hard way that it is not a good thing to assume that your significant other can make your mind.
I don’t give relationship advice much mostly because I am unqualified to but the one piece of advice I will continue to offer if anyone asks is to communicate. If something bothers you tell the other person don’t keep it bottled up, if you do it will come back to bite you in the end. My man’s saying is “if I don’t know if it’s broke I can’t fix it”.
I realized something kind of funny just now…the one year anniversary of relationship with Oz is the day after the world is supposed to cease to exist. For anybody who didn’t follow that let me clarify, the end of the world is supposed to be December 21 2012. Our anniversary falls on December 22 20 12. Personally I find it very funny because the end of the world has come and gone at least twice in my lifetime, three times if you include the Y2K scare. If we are lucky to be in the same state on our anniversary (very unlikely) at some point its going to occur to one or both of us, “hey we survived the apocalypse….” I feel sorry for anybody who decides to come visit within the next hour, they will probably find something thrown at them,(by me, he’s nicer than I am). Knock at your own risk.
Have I got your attention yet? Don’t worry I am not in any way related to Hannibal Lecter, Norman Bates, or Ted Bundy I promise. Several years ago however a friend of mine did manage to convince someone in line at a movie theater concession stand that I lived at a facility for the criminally insane because I killed 15 people. My friend and I had been dropped off at the theater to see 50 First Dates and while standing in line to get soda and popcorn I dropped some change on the floor which my friend leaned over and handed back to me. April is also disabled but when standing next to me I suppose it is less noticeable because I’m in a wheelchair and she walks, anyway the woman ahead of us in line saw her hand me the change back and said, “isn’t that nice of you taking your sweet little crippled friend out to a movie,” or something along that saccharine sweet gag me with a spoon line, without missing a beat April says, “No she’s not sweet at all. As a matter fact she snapped one day and killed 15 people for no reason at all. This is her monthly day away from the facility and that seatbelt is not to keep her from falling out of the chair but to keep her from randomly attacking people.” During April’s story I had not said anything. at first because I was upset that this woman talked about me as though I wasn’t there, and then because I didn’t want to ruin April’s amazing story. The woman’s eyes got as big as dinner plates and she collected her movie snacks and fairly ran away from us. As soon as she was out of sight the girl behind the concession counter melted to the floor laughing. I was enough of a regular that she knew me by sight, know very well that I could talk, was never under heavy sedation and was definitely NOT a serial killer. The movie was great and when mom came to pick us up she laughed even harder than we had at the ridiculously gullible woman in the concession line.
The past few years can be summed up in one word…stressful. I am starting to realize that some of that has to with my reactions to other people. I live with some very annoying people but the things that annoy me about them probably won’t change any time soon. So instead of getting upset about things that won’t change no matter what I do. I resolve to redirect that energy that would otherwise be wasted in pointless anger into being supportive of those who are actually trying to change their lives for the better. In this new world that is mine I will not give a second thought to those people who let me down.Instead I will smile (even if it looks manic sometime) because I will get out of here and when I do I will shake the dust and the slug people off my feet and never look back.
In an effort to be slightly more cheerful than I have been of late I bring you The String Story.Have you ever found yourself laughing at something so mundane that other people laugh just because they think your reaction is funny? I have a friend who speaks with an Irish accent because he spent a lot of his time growing up with relatives in Ireland. Most of the time you can barely hear the accent, except when he drinks. The more he drinks the thicker and more pronounced his accent becomes. Before I was unceremoniously kicked to the curb in college (for a reason I would like to point out had very little to do with my grades and more to do with politics) a group of us used to get together on the weekends and hang out off-campus because the university itself is dry. I cannot remember in one context or for what reason the word string came up but it did and for some reason the fact that his accent was very noticeable caused me to completely lose it. I think I laughed for almost 10 minutes without stopping, which in turn caused everyone else to crack up. After that all he or his cousin, who can affect a very good Irish accent herself had to do to get me to spontaneously burst into laughter is say the word string in the thickest Irish brogue either of them can manage. It still works and I have no clue why.
I feel the need to apologize for the plethora of typos which sporadically litter this blog. I have had many college English classes…..enough that I should proofread better than I have been lately. My only excuse is that my speech recognition software sometimes appears to have a mind of its own and I suppose I rely too much on it to get it right the first time. Sometimes I wish for the days of typewriters and correctional fluid… and then I realize that correctional fluid would actually be harder for me to use. Operator error would definitely abound. I really appreciate the fact that some people are willing to slog through and interpret all my typographical babble into sentences that more or less makes sense. I’ve resolved to be more on top of my proofreading, but if a little typo gnome (think the garden gnomes out of Harry Potter… with their potato like heads) slips past my vigilance I will remove the offending typo as soon as I find it. Thank you for your continuing patience, this public service announcement has been brought to you via the lovely people at WordPress. We now return you to your regularly scheduled Internet browsing.